What about Today?

I’m coming to realize lately that life is always moving forward into time and space. And time is always ticking whether we like it or not. Time is a valuable asset in this day and age.

We can dwell, we can resent, we can worry, we can wish we would have done this or said that differently–but today is today. Yesterday was yesterday. Three week ago was three weeks ago. And tomorrow is tomorrow. Where are you today?

 

 

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It’s Within You

I’ve come to realize lately that there is nobody outside of you that is keeping you from being the person you are meant to be. There is nobody saying from the sidelines, “Stop that.” Unless there is–maybe a parent, sibling, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend… that might be different. There’s some gray area there. But, most of the time, we can often think of one person or scenario in our mind of a time when somebody said or did something that made us feel inadequate. And because of that, we unconsciously subscribe to the sometimes negative thoughts and feelings associated with that memory. We give our power away.

Maybe I’m saying all of this because I just recently got out of a 1.5 yr relationship about three months ago. The breakup was not a slice of cake and there are still levels of resentment and confusion between my ex and I (won’t get into it). Despite the mess of an ending, it has been extremely liberating for me to find myself again. To become whole again with myself and with God.

I find it relevant to share a dream I had the other night. My dream’s scenario was my ex deciding between me and two other girls (including his now girlfriend in real life). It was a ridiculous emotional tug-of-war and when I woke up, I remember thinking, “Thank God that was a dream.” Then I quickly registered that the dream was very similar to what happened in real life (yep, I kid you not). Regardless–it got me to thinking. Wow. I’ve come a long way. And, wow, how could I have spent so much time crying over somebody/something that was totally not in my control?

As I meditated on what the dream could mean–it came to me that my power has been given away to other people for too long. That inner power is always right here. It’s always within me. No other person is to blame for where I’m at. God brought me here for a reason, after all. But I agree that we cannot deny the pain that sometimes relationships with other people can cause. But we grow from those scenarios. We learn from them. We raise our standards for the next go-around. We find new ways to begin again.

I’m not saying that the power is within me and me only without any spiritual force. I believe in a higher power that is always the cosmic ruler in a situation and he/she has the ultimate say.  If it were totally in my power–I wish the situation would have ended much more clean. But life goes on–even though I wouldn’t have believed that a couple of months ago.. It does.

You have to live with you for the rest of your life. It’s time you get used to remembering that you have the power within you at all times. You can call upon the God that resonates with you the most or the dusty air for all I care. Nobody else can tell you what is the right way to surrender to the flow of life. Have compassion for who you are and where you are on your journey. And do not give up.

May the Divine hold you close at all times.

Blessings

Transitions

Navigating life is like learning how to cook. We have to keep trying different combinations of ingredients to truly find what we like and what works best for us. Maybe we try a new recipe and find out it wasn’t everything we anticipated it to be. Instead of giving up completely, we can try a few different spices or ingredients the next time. I find that my current life situation is reminiscent of this analogy.

I have just recently gotten out of a 1.5 year relationship that has caused me to face deficient areas of my life. My ex did most of the cooking in our relationship–so this past month has been a journey of me revisiting and testing my own cooking skills. I did not cook a lot for myself during the relationship nor did I much before (my willpower to cook has never been that strong). As a result, it has forced me to start taking care of myself since I am on my own. Food has always been on the extremes with me–I have had phases of eating way too much and then just the opposite. I’m finally trying to find a healthy balance for myself.

I did not eat much more than kale chips the first week post-breakup. Not just because I didn’t have hardly any willpower, but because I physiologically felt repulsed by food. I had no idea a breakup would suck the life out of me so quickly. And as much as I am an advocate for self-awareness and healing yourself, I definitely had no choice but to feel the burn the first couple of weeks. It’s crazy how our bodies respond to such stressful events in our lives.

Though it has gotten much better from the beginning, I know I have a ways to go in this healing. I just recently was given news of an even harder pill to swallow regarding some things between my ex and I, but I know that it has nothing to do with me personally. I am realizing now that we did the best we could. We realized that love itself was not enough. And I now have tools and ideas for the next relationship I will enter into (though I’ll be taking my sweet, damn time–unlike my ex).

It’s a new me in the making. I have these thoughts as I am eating this beef, sweet potato crock pot soup I have made twice now. It tastes a little better now that I’ve got the hang of it and took what didn’t work the first go-around and improved it for this batch. A few more spices here and a few more veggies there…It’s a continuous, never-ending process.

Learning how to cook again reminds me that life goes on. We just have to keep doing our best and be patient for the next go-around. Despite this difficult transition in my life, I’m excited to see what else life has to bring for me. One foot in front of the other.

Much love to anybody going through difficult transitions. May the Holy Spirit hold you and keep you.

Blessings

It Should Be a Crime

 

It makes me sad to see so many people in this generation spending precious hours of their time standing behind a cash register. Of course, this doesn’t apply to every customer service job, but it is certainly painful to see individuals staying inside for prolonged periods of time going to and fro between a stranger and a computer screen. And, myself being someone who has worked in customer service for several years, I have to agree it can be painful to be in this position as well.

I get it, it could be worse. Way worse, actually. But, ultimately, no human deserves to spend so much time away from the simplicity of the outdoors. No human deserves to spend hours of his time thinking about the sunlight while he checks out 50+grocery items for 50+ strangers. Capitalism steals joy. It steals simplicity.

It should be a crime.

 

Thoughts on College, Life, & Societal Expectations

Ever since I left college about two years ago, I have been given a number of words and/or looks of disapproval from others ranging from strangers all the way to my family.

“What?! You can’t get a job without a degree.”
or
“But how will you make money?”

Simple: I work a normal people job–pay rent, bills, and live simply. As long as I like my job(s) and I feel fulfilled, I say why not. As long as I have good people in my life and do things that are fulfilling in my heart–why the hell not? Not to mention I have plenty of free time to do the things I love and learn more about the world through human interactions and connections (which is the ultimate “school” in my book).

Granted, I just returned to school this Spring because I DO desire a more fulfilling “career” or at least some direction towards a more established purpose. I know plenty of good people who are living fulfilled careers/positions in something they love because they went to college. And I also know plenty of people whom are resentful for their student loan debt and for the result in a lack of employment (or employment that pays as much as a job without a degree). The third category is usually people that complain of their mundane 9-5 career and have no time to do things that interest them (which unfortunately seems to be the majority).

All I’m saying is that we should think about our intentions behind striving to up this chain of feeling established in society. To impress others? To get that fancy house or fancy car? To feel like we’ve “made it” in society? Or is what we really want deep down a sense of security, peace of mind, and the time to cherish the people and hobbies we love? Wouldn’t that be a decent world to live in. Think about it.

 

If you have the time, check out this awesome video on YouTube of this guy’s story on going back to the basics–even if it meant “going backwards”.