Embrace heartbreak, but don’t let it break you

“Though your first lover let you down, something can be done.”

Let’s face it: break-ups are among some of the most uncomfortable events a human can endure in life. Nobody desires to undergo such a drastic, utterly painful disconnection from somebody one has shared so much of his/herself with (though every relationship varies in length and intensity). Some people wonder, why must love feel so amazing but tear you apart when it’s all over with? If you had told me how painful and difficult a break-up could be about a year ago, I would have have brushed you off as weak. I was naive.

Five months ago, though, I went through my very first break-up of a relationship that lasted about 1.5 years. Though I was somewhat caught off guard when it happened, my heart broke open knowing it needed to be done sooner or later. But, of course, that didn’t necessarily minimize the pain of the separation. The first couple of months felt like I was dragging one foot in front of the other. And to make the blow even harder, my ex-partner began a new relationship with someone in our friend circle three weeks after our break-up. I felt like I had hit rock bottom after that. And my anger and resentment grew strong towards circumstances I had no control over. But, here I am, five months later, still alive and more of myself than I’ve been in a long time.

Acceptance takes a while and I still have my days. Daydreaming about the what-ifs and the should-haves is okay in moderation, but life is too brief to get caught up on somebody that wasn’t meant for you. Some people are not to meant to stay forever as much as that reality hurts.

I haven’t met the right guy yet for me but I trust that he is in the making for me. If you have also went through a break-up recently, no matter the circumstances, this is only making you stronger. Put your trust in that, feel the pain, and make positive actions like meeting new people, taking new classes, or starting new hobbies. And here is one of the many songs that have helped me put my perspective into place. Take care and God bless.

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What about Today?

I’m coming to realize lately that life is always moving forward into time and space. And time is always ticking whether we like it or not. Time is a valuable asset in this day and age.

We can dwell, we can resent, we can worry, we can wish we would have done this or said that differently–but today is today. Yesterday was yesterday. Three week ago was three weeks ago. And tomorrow is tomorrow. Where are you today?

 

 

Transitions

Navigating life is like learning how to cook. We have to keep trying different combinations of ingredients to truly find what we like and what works best for us. Maybe we try a new recipe and find out it wasn’t everything we anticipated it to be. Instead of giving up completely, we can try a few different spices or ingredients the next time. I find that my current life situation is reminiscent of this analogy.

I have just recently gotten out of a 1.5 year relationship that has caused me to face deficient areas of my life. My ex did most of the cooking in our relationship–so this past month has been a journey of me revisiting and testing my own cooking skills. I did not cook a lot for myself during the relationship nor did I much before (my willpower to cook has never been that strong). As a result, it has forced me to start taking care of myself since I am on my own. Food has always been on the extremes with me–I have had phases of eating way too much and then just the opposite. I’m finally trying to find a healthy balance for myself.

I did not eat much more than kale chips the first week post-breakup. Not just because I didn’t have hardly any willpower, but because I physiologically felt repulsed by food. I had no idea a breakup would suck the life out of me so quickly. And as much as I am an advocate for self-awareness and healing yourself, I definitely had no choice but to feel the burn the first couple of weeks. It’s crazy how our bodies respond to such stressful events in our lives.

Though it has gotten much better from the beginning, I know I have a ways to go in this healing. I just recently was given news of an even harder pill to swallow regarding some things between my ex and I, but I know that it has nothing to do with me personally. I am realizing now that we did the best we could. We realized that love itself was not enough. And I now have tools and ideas for the next relationship I will enter into (though I’ll be taking my sweet, damn time–unlike my ex).

It’s a new me in the making. I have these thoughts as I am eating this beef, sweet potato crock pot soup I have made twice now. It tastes a little better now that I’ve got the hang of it and took what didn’t work the first go-around and improved it for this batch. A few more spices here and a few more veggies there…It’s a continuous, never-ending process.

Learning how to cook again reminds me that life goes on. We just have to keep doing our best and be patient for the next go-around. Despite this difficult transition in my life, I’m excited to see what else life has to bring for me. One foot in front of the other.

Much love to anybody going through difficult transitions. May the Holy Spirit hold you and keep you.

Blessings

It Should Be a Crime

 

It makes me sad to see so many people in this generation spending precious hours of their time standing behind a cash register. Of course, this doesn’t apply to every customer service job, but it is certainly painful to see individuals staying inside for prolonged periods of time going to and fro between a stranger and a computer screen. And, myself being someone who has worked in customer service for several years, I have to agree it can be painful to be in this position as well.

I get it, it could be worse. Way worse, actually. But, ultimately, no human deserves to spend so much time away from the simplicity of the outdoors. No human deserves to spend hours of his time thinking about the sunlight while he checks out 50+grocery items for 50+ strangers. Capitalism steals joy. It steals simplicity.

It should be a crime.

 

Thoughts on College, Life, & Societal Expectations

Ever since I left college about two years ago, I have been given a number of words and/or looks of disapproval from others ranging from strangers all the way to my family.

“What?! You can’t get a job without a degree.”
or
“But how will you make money?”

Simple: I work a normal people job–pay rent, bills, and live simply. As long as I like my job(s) and I feel fulfilled, I say why not. As long as I have good people in my life and do things that are fulfilling in my heart–why the hell not? Not to mention I have plenty of free time to do the things I love and learn more about the world through human interactions and connections (which is the ultimate “school” in my book).

Granted, I just returned to school this Spring because I DO desire a more fulfilling “career” or at least some direction towards a more established purpose. I know plenty of good people who are living fulfilled careers/positions in something they love because they went to college. And I also know plenty of people whom are resentful for their student loan debt and for the result in a lack of employment (or employment that pays as much as a job without a degree). The third category is usually people that complain of their mundane 9-5 career and have no time to do things that interest them (which unfortunately seems to be the majority).

All I’m saying is that we should think about our intentions behind striving to up this chain of feeling established in society. To impress others? To get that fancy house or fancy car? To feel like we’ve “made it” in society? Or is what we really want deep down a sense of security, peace of mind, and the time to cherish the people and hobbies we love? Wouldn’t that be a decent world to live in. Think about it.

 

If you have the time, check out this awesome video on YouTube of this guy’s story on going back to the basics–even if it meant “going backwards”.

 

Welcoming Sadness

Some days, I feel it incoming. I feel it sink me down into the Earth, but yet so far up in the sky (in my mind, at least). Other days, it hits me like a ton of bricks when I’m in a good mood–for no apparent reason. I find myself often resisting it. But, lately, I’ve been trying to say:

“Hello, again. Welcome.”

Sadness is an inevitable emotion.

That doesn’t mean we can’t try and look for ways to be happy (in fact, I encourage ways to increase feelings of joy through nature walks, healthier diets, and meditation). Nor does it mean that we should give up on our lives–it’s just that we are better off accepting the fact that sadness is going to make its appearance in our lives from time to time. Perhaps if we welcomed it more, we could hear what it’s trying to tell us. We sometimes need it to regularly open our hearts, to think about what’s truly important to us.

It’s okay to be sad. You are only human.

And still so beautiful.