The more I expose myself, the more private I become.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the smiles I see form on the kind faces of strangers I see on the streets. I usually wonder what makes them smile when I seem them.. Did they just get off the phone with a significant other? Did they just think of all of the things they were grateful for? Did they just see someone else smile? I can’t help but stop in awe sometimes… as they have transcended this Earth into a feeling of pure joy even if momentarily.
Often, I fantasize about my life and how it would be perfect or better once that day in the future comes along–or how beautiful it was that day in the past. Then, I remember, life is continuously moving forward. It is always changing. And, some phases of life seem to carry more ideal circumstances than others. Let’s face it.
It is an interesting balance between being satisfied with your circumstances and also realistic about your attitude for the future. Though, the more I come to observe from my own experience and from others’–I find that everybody has his/her own set of struggles (as well as good fortunes, of course). And it is beautiful when I receive the chance to observe these glimpses of momentary bliss through others.
More thoughts another day.
I might be going on an Alice Phoebe Lou binge here (a lovely independent musician I have recently discovered), so bear with me. I also think I have recently discovered that I really enjoy sharing songs and interpreting the feelings they bring me through writing.. so perhaps this post may be nice for somebody out there.
The theme of the song (at least the vibe for me) begs questions such as: are you free? Is your heart in it?
Life is a precious gift for being on this Earth. And our hearts play a role as emotional directors throughout our lives. If we ignore our hearts, or our emotional intelligence, life tends to feel like a prison (does it not?). If we look around us–can we admit that the world is living in a sort of prison of conformity, restraint, or hate? Have we moved from the extreme of our imaginative, kind-hearted, innocent childlike essences into rational, materialistic Earth-mongerers (okay, exaggaration there, I know)? Clearly, there is good and light in the world, but we cannot deny the rise of war, destruction, division, greed and poverty that might make you all question… are we truly free?
It’s amazing how easy it is nowadays to listen to the millions and millions of talented musicians via the internet. Back when I was in elementary school learning guitar for the first time, I had to search long and hard for a song I wanted my guitar teacher to teach me. He said he was able to find it on something called Youtube (this was back in 2005). Youtube?! And, within the next few years, the website would gain its popularity. Isn’t it crazy how embedded Youtube is embedded into all of our lives these days? What a strange, but beautiful world we live in (well, if you’re speaking of that aspect of it lol).
I’m a dreamer. And I love to find music that takes me to another world inside of my own little world. I happened to stumble upon this gem recently. It is music like this that makes me want to float, dream, spin, cry, smile, sing, and drift off into the air–all at the same time. One of my favorite melancholic covers of a beautiful song.. Tis’ bittersweet.
“Though your first lover let you down, something can be done.”
Let’s face it: break-ups are among some of the most uncomfortable events a human can endure in life. Nobody desires to undergo such a drastic, utterly painful disconnection from somebody one has shared so much of his/herself with (though every relationship varies in length and intensity). Some people wonder, why must love feel so amazing but tear you apart when it’s all over with? If you had told me how painful and difficult a break-up could be about a year ago, I would have have brushed you off as weak. I was naive.
Five months ago, though, I went through my very first break-up of a relationship that lasted about 1.5 years. Though I was somewhat caught off guard when it happened, my heart broke open knowing it needed to be done sooner or later. But, of course, that didn’t necessarily minimize the pain of the separation. The first couple of months felt like I was dragging one foot in front of the other. And to make the blow even harder, my ex-partner began a new relationship with someone in our friend circle three weeks after our break-up. I felt like I had hit rock bottom after that. And my anger and resentment grew strong towards circumstances I had no control over. But, here I am, five months later, still alive and more of myself than I’ve been in a long time.
Acceptance takes a while and I still have my days. Daydreaming about the what-ifs and the should-haves is okay in moderation, but life is too brief to get caught up on somebody that wasn’t meant for you. Some people are not to meant to stay forever as much as that reality hurts.
I haven’t met the right guy yet for me but I trust that he is in the making for me. If you have also went through a break-up recently, no matter the circumstances, this is only making you stronger. Put your trust in that, feel the pain, and make positive actions like meeting new people, taking new classes, or starting new hobbies. And here is one of the many songs that have helped me put my perspective into place. Take care and God bless.
Let’s face it: we live in a tough world during these times. The environment, the economy, and the people are at stake. We’re hanging on by threads (well, maybe not quite yet) at this point waiting for somebody to pull the plug and stop this madness.
…Or maybe that’s just me.
I wrote this because I was so drawn in by this man on his classical guitar. You get lost in the sound so quickly. And it is so beautiful to see all of the people gathered around him in the street as if in a trance. It’s amazing to see people stop for a few moments in time, all from different walks of life simply to enjoy the sound of music.
Take a listen if you get the chance.
Every person lives in some sort of home: whether it be a house, an apartment, or a trailer… most of them have at least four walls and a ceiling. It’s a universal symbol of security and comfort. But, I like to think about how powerful and complex of an energy a household contains.
Homes… Places where social gatherings occur. Relationships may evolve, deteriorate, or go through waves. Kids may be loved furiously or denied proper love. Adults may lose their tempers or listen carefully to their beloveds. Faces one portrays to the outer world may be heavily distorted when back in the home. Carefully-prepared food may be a daily tradition or a typical outing. Several screens inside rooms creating illusory worlds. Prayers and meditations to sustain life. Hugs during times of hardship. Laughter between loved ones and pets. A place where the magic happens to create a more occupied home.
Oh, what a magical world behind these four walls.