I’ve come to realize lately that there is nobody outside of you that is keeping you from being the person you are meant to be. There is nobody saying from the sidelines, “Stop that.” Unless there is–maybe a parent, sibling, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend… that might be different. There’s some gray area there. But, most of the time, we can often think of one person or scenario in our mind of a time when somebody said or did something that made us feel inadequate. And because of that, we unconsciously subscribe to the sometimes negative thoughts and feelings associated with that memory. We give our power away.
Maybe I’m saying all of this because I just recently got out of a 1.5 yr relationship about three months ago. The breakup was not a slice of cake and there are still levels of resentment and confusion between my ex and I (won’t get into it). Despite the mess of an ending, it has been extremely liberating for me to find myself again. To become whole again with myself and with God.
I find it relevant to share a dream I had the other night. My dream’s scenario was my ex deciding between me and two other girls (including his now girlfriend in real life). It was a ridiculous emotional tug-of-war and when I woke up, I remember thinking, “Thank God that was a dream.” Then I quickly registered that the dream was very similar to what happened in real life (yep, I kid you not). Regardless–it got me to thinking. Wow. I’ve come a long way. And, wow, how could I have spent so much time crying over somebody/something that was totally not in my control?
As I meditated on what the dream could mean–it came to me that my power has been given away to other people for too long. That inner power is always right here. It’s always within me. No other person is to blame for where I’m at. God brought me here for a reason, after all. But I agree that we cannot deny the pain that sometimes relationships with other people can cause. But we grow from those scenarios. We learn from them. We raise our standards for the next go-around. We find new ways to begin again.
I’m not saying that the power is within me and me only without any spiritual force. I believe in a higher power that is always the cosmic ruler in a situation and he/she has the ultimate say. If it were totally in my power–I wish the situation would have ended much more clean. But life goes on–even though I wouldn’t have believed that a couple of months ago.. It does.
You have to live with you for the rest of your life. It’s time you get used to remembering that you have the power within you at all times. You can call upon the God that resonates with you the most or the dusty air for all I care. Nobody else can tell you what is the right way to surrender to the flow of life. Have compassion for who you are and where you are on your journey. And do not give up.
May the Divine hold you close at all times.