Navigating life is like learning how to cook. We have to keep trying different combinations of ingredients to truly find what we like and what works best for us. Maybe we try a new recipe and find out it wasn’t everything we anticipated it to be. Instead of giving up completely, we can try a few different spices or ingredients the next time. I find that my current life situation is reminiscent of this analogy.
I have just recently gotten out of a 1.5 year relationship that has caused me to face deficient areas of my life. My ex did most of the cooking in our relationship–so this past month has been a journey of me revisiting and testing my own cooking skills. I did not cook a lot for myself during the relationship nor did I much before (my willpower to cook has never been that strong). As a result, it has forced me to start taking care of myself since I am on my own. Food has always been on the extremes with me–I have had phases of eating way too much and then just the opposite. I’m finally trying to find a healthy balance for myself.
I did not eat much more than kale chips the first week post-breakup. Not just because I didn’t have hardly any willpower, but because I physiologically felt repulsed by food. I had no idea a breakup would suck the life out of me so quickly. And as much as I am an advocate for self-awareness and healing yourself, I definitely had no choice but to feel the burn the first couple of weeks. It’s crazy how our bodies respond to such stressful events in our lives.
Though it has gotten much better from the beginning, I know I have a ways to go in this healing. I just recently was given news of an even harder pill to swallow regarding some things between my ex and I, but I know that it has nothing to do with me personally. I am realizing now that we did the best we could. We realized that love itself was not enough. And I now have tools and ideas for the next relationship I will enter into (though I’ll be taking my sweet, damn time–unlike my ex).
It’s a new me in the making. I have these thoughts as I am eating this beef, sweet potato crock pot soup I have made twice now. It tastes a little better now that I’ve got the hang of it and took what didn’t work the first go-around and improved it for this batch. A few more spices here and a few more veggies there…It’s a continuous, never-ending process.
Learning how to cook again reminds me that life goes on. We just have to keep doing our best and be patient for the next go-around. Despite this difficult transition in my life, I’m excited to see what else life has to bring for me. One foot in front of the other.
Much love to anybody going through difficult transitions. May the Holy Spirit hold you and keep you.