Up until recently, I have discovered that love does not always present itself with all of the answers. Love does not always come in a package that says, “Marry me” or “I’m the one”. Its package sort of appears with a question mark implying that you open it and see what’s inside. And what’s inside is not always easy to explain other than that it typically means something beautiful.
About a year and a half ago, I met my boyfriend. Initially, there was a spark there that we just couldn’t shake, and we had to get to know each other better. If I had to use the words “in love”, I’d say I’m there. We’ve grown to know each other so much that it’s hard to picture life without my best friend. Sometimes, I wonder, “Is this just for now? Is he just a fleeting soul mate for a little while?” We’ve spent so much time conversing, sharing fun activities together, and learning so much about ourselves in the process–that the possibility of our connection being severed in the future hurts my heart. But I’ve learned to roll with the possibility of it not working out for the long run. I’m comfortable saying I’m not sure where we are going. Regardless, I do know that he is my love at this point in my life. And that’s what matter the most.
Sometimes, people cling to their newfound connection with somebody so tightly that they decide it’s time to get married. They may decide to tie the knot within a matter of months. They imagine the rest of their lives together. The pressure from their families, friends and society may suggest to tie the knot. Sometimes, it works out, and sometimes, it doesn’t. Personally, I feel like it’s necessary to take time, to test the waters. The Universe does not always give us the “ready-to-go” package per say when it comes to finding love.
One of my good friends, a devout Morman (though I’m not religious, we can both meet in the middle quite beautifully), recently met a guy that she instantly had a connection with. The only issue was that he was a devout Muslim and wanted children in the future. For her and him, that is a deal breaker. So, despite their passionate dates and hanging out the past few weeks, she decided to cut it for good. She said to me, “it wasn’t worth the pain of knowing it would never work out”. I remember thinking, “But why can’t you just enjoy the connection now?” She didn’t say much about that response, but I knew she had thought about it herself.
Soon after, they realized they just couldn’t sever the connection as if they never knew each other. As you probably guessed, they recently reconnected and have been spending a lot of time together again. They cook, talk about topics important to them, and simply enjoy each other’s company. The idea of “later on” no longer overpowers the beauty of their connection at the current state.
Love doesn’t have to be so difficult. Nowadays, I think many of us perceive “love” as the sight of Facebook engagement pictures, the ring, and eventually walking down the aisle. I have to disagree, and believe that this is misleading. It pressures people to think that love can’t be experienced if it’s not going to be forever. I believe that love, in its beginning at the least, is that powerful connection we share with another human being. Whether it be romantic, friendship, familial. It just is.
1 Corinthians 13:4
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”
Enjoy your connections with others when they appear. Listen to your intuition. Don’t sever things that feel powerful (unless they are clearly emotionally-manipulative/unhealthy in any way). We can learn something from everyone, especially the people we share the most profound connections with.