Man, sometimes, life can feel stuck when you are working through old patterns of thinking. It often feels like you’ve been thrown into the middle of an ink splatter–sticky and dark, no matter how hard you try to wash it out, it seems impossible. However, there are alternative perspectives we can use during these moments in our lives, and I like to ask myself what is really bothering me. I find it easier for me to receive that answer in my nightly dreams.
I have all of these crazy ideas flowing around in my head throughout the day, and I notice myself saying there’s no money in them, or that nobody would listen to me, or that it would be too much work. But the truth is, I can’t be satisfied with my life if I can’t let my words be communicated to the world. Therefore, here I am, despite my conscious mind doubts– Spirit pushes me again to say how I feel without the “how” or “why”.
I had a dream recently, where I was sparking it up with a cute guy I used to crush on in real life. Mind you, I currently have a boyfriend in real life that I love deeply, but we are human and sometimes crave the intimacy of other people. Anyhow, in the dream, knowing I had a boyfriend, I gave into the temptation of contacting this guy without telling my boyfriend. In short, the dream led us to where we were kissing, laughing, flirting–and then he started to get drunk and things started going downhill. At one point, as he bent over in the grass, he began shooting turd missiles (yes, lol) into other people’s yards. This angered me, and I confronted him about it. He then grabbed me by the shoulders and held me down, commanding me to shut up (I can relate this to real life when my self-doubt shuts me down). Angered myself, I found the courage to tell him we were done. He then responded with even more anger. I grew terrified and began to ask for help, in which people flocked over to help me from the abuse.
I see this dream as a reflection of the masculine part of my subconscious mind (willpower, assertion, etc) that I run to quite a bit–one that has been out off balance most of my life. This has repeatedly resulted in a lack of inner confidence and motivation to exert my feminine-based dreams (all of those ideas that flow around in my head all day). And the part where he holds me down shows me how trapped I feel in this subconscious pattern that is often imbalanced. A pattern that is satisfying in the very short-term, but the more I turn to it in the long-term, it is clearly unsatisfactory. With me finally growing fed up with this pattern, I become angry, but the pattern is so strong that there is resistance (him fighting back). However, my courage comes out in my spirit and “other people” come to help.
Dreams are an excellent way to get in touch with our conscious life troubles. They may come in the form of symbols, and often ridiculous symbols (flying turds, come on, man!), but when you learn to relate them to your waking life, it becomes more of an A-ha moment.
Though the mind is a very powerful and malleable tool for each of us, as much as we try to work through the difficult parts of our psyche, there is often resistance. However, if we keep pushing and standing up to the darker parts of our spirits, awareness and the journey of healing can begin. I must also acknowledge how beautiful it is that many of us are finding the courage to learn more about ourselves. Let us be strong in our journeys, and continue to receive blessings for this time on Earth. I am here with you.