Embrace heartbreak, but don’t let it break you

“Though your first lover let you down, something can be done.”

Let’s face it: break-ups are among some of the most uncomfortable events a human can endure in life. Nobody desires to undergo such a drastic, utterly painful disconnection from somebody one has shared so much of his/herself with (though every relationship varies in length and intensity). Some people wonder, why must love feel so amazing but tear you apart when it’s all over with? If you had told me how painful and difficult a break-up could be about a year ago, I would have have brushed you off as weak. I was naive.

Five months ago, though, I went through my very first break-up of a relationship that lasted about 1.5 years. Though I was somewhat caught off guard when it happened, my heart broke open knowing it needed to be done sooner or later. But, of course, that didn’t necessarily minimize the pain of the separation. The first couple of months felt like I was dragging one foot in front of the other. And to make the blow even harder, my ex-partner began a new relationship with someone in our friend circle three weeks after our break-up. I felt like I had hit rock bottom after that. And my anger and resentment grew strong towards circumstances I had no control over. But, here I am, five months later, still alive and more of myself than I’ve been in a long time.

Acceptance takes a while and I still have my days. Daydreaming about the what-ifs and the should-haves is okay in moderation, but life is too brief to get caught up on somebody that wasn’t meant for you. Some people are not to meant to stay forever as much as that reality hurts.

I haven’t met the right guy yet for me but I trust that he is in the making for me. If you have also went through a break-up recently, no matter the circumstances, this is only making you stronger. Put your trust in that, feel the pain, and make positive actions like meeting new people, taking new classes, or starting new hobbies. And here is one of the many songs that have helped me put my perspective into place. Take care and God bless.

Music Unites Us

Let’s face it: we live in a tough world during these times. The environment, the economy, and the people are at stake. We’re hanging on by threads (well, maybe not quite yet) at this point waiting for somebody to pull the plug and stop this madness.

…Or maybe that’s just me.

I wrote this because I was so drawn in by this man on his classical guitar. You get lost in the sound so quickly. And it is so beautiful to see all of the people gathered around him in the street as if in a trance. It’s amazing to see people stop for a few moments in time, all from different walks of life simply to enjoy the sound of music.

Take a listen if you get the chance.

 

Homes

Every person lives in some sort of home: whether it be a house, an apartment, or a trailer… most of them have at least four walls and a ceiling. It’s a universal symbol of security and comfort. But, I like to think about how powerful and complex of an energy a household contains.

Homes… Places where social gatherings occur. Relationships may evolve, deteriorate, or go through waves. Kids may be loved furiously or denied proper love. Adults may lose their tempers or listen carefully to their beloveds. Faces one portrays to the outer world may be heavily distorted when back in the home. Carefully-prepared food may be a daily tradition or a typical outing. Several screens inside rooms creating illusory worlds. Prayers and meditations to sustain life. Hugs during times of hardship. Laughter between loved ones and pets. A place where the magic happens to create a more occupied home.

Oh, what a magical world behind these four walls.

 

 

Empathy

How many times have you looked over at your fellow human(s) and seen a frown, a blank stare, or a sad expression?

Chances are–they are experiencing something you may not know of or even understand. Maybe they feel anxious, depressed, hurt, the latter. Maybe something happened or is happening every day in his/her home. You may actually never know. And, sometimes, there is really nothing you can offer a person other than a smile and thoughts of kindness. And that’s okay.

So often our judgments of others become ingrained and we forget that we really don’t know somebody else’s story unless we have walked their walk. Let us continue to meditate on becoming more empathetic of others. Compassion, even subtlety, unites us all.

Peace

 

 

 

What about Today?

I’m coming to realize lately that life is always moving forward into time and space. And time is always ticking whether we like it or not. Time is a valuable asset in this day and age.

We can dwell, we can resent, we can worry, we can wish we would have done this or said that differently–but today is today. Yesterday was yesterday. Three week ago was three weeks ago. And tomorrow is tomorrow. Where are you today?

 

 

It’s Within You

I’ve come to realize lately that there is nobody outside of you that is keeping you from being the person you are meant to be. There is nobody saying from the sidelines, “Stop that.” Unless there is–maybe a parent, sibling, boyfriend, girlfriend, friend… that might be different. There’s some gray area there. But, most of the time, we can often think of one person or scenario in our mind of a time when somebody said or did something that made us feel inadequate. And because of that, we unconsciously subscribe to the sometimes negative thoughts and feelings associated with that memory. We give our power away.

Maybe I’m saying all of this because I just recently got out of a 1.5 yr relationship about three months ago. The breakup was not a slice of cake and there are still levels of resentment and confusion between my ex and I (won’t get into it). Despite the mess of an ending, it has been extremely liberating for me to find myself again. To become whole again with myself and with God.

I find it relevant to share a dream I had the other night. My dream’s scenario was my ex deciding between me and two other girls (including his now girlfriend in real life). It was a ridiculous emotional tug-of-war and when I woke up, I remember thinking, “Thank God that was a dream.” Then I quickly registered that the dream was very similar to what happened in real life (yep, I kid you not). Regardless–it got me to thinking. Wow. I’ve come a long way. And, wow, how could I have spent so much time crying over somebody/something that was totally not in my control?

As I meditated on what the dream could mean–it came to me that my power has been given away to other people for too long. That inner power is always right here. It’s always within me. No other person is to blame for where I’m at. God brought me here for a reason, after all. But I agree that we cannot deny the pain that sometimes relationships with other people can cause. But we grow from those scenarios. We learn from them. We raise our standards for the next go-around. We find new ways to begin again.

I’m not saying that the power is within me and me only without any spiritual force. I believe in a higher power that is always the cosmic ruler in a situation and he/she has the ultimate say.  If it were totally in my power–I wish the situation would have ended much more clean. But life goes on–even though I wouldn’t have believed that a couple of months ago.. It does.

You have to live with you for the rest of your life. It’s time you get used to remembering that you have the power within you at all times. You can call upon the God that resonates with you the most or the dusty air for all I care. Nobody else can tell you what is the right way to surrender to the flow of life. Have compassion for who you are and where you are on your journey. And do not give up.

May the Divine hold you close at all times.

Blessings